It’s seven o’clock in the evening on April 29th, and I’m photographing the third iteration of Zorya Arrow’s performance “This Disposition.”
Sixth months ago, Zorya performed the piece for the first time at the Rachel Browne Theatre as part of the Young Lungs Research Series. In the hour she performed, her partner, Scott Leroux, died suddenly, a fact she did not learn until a phone call from Scott’s sister interrupted the small after party she was throwing at her studio.
The events of that night shaped the evolution of the piece. Before Scott passed, Zorya had already lined up a residency in Vancouver, which would include a second performance of “This Disposition.” Now, that performance was scheduled on the three-month anniversary of Scott’s death.
Looking back, Zorya says of the Vancouver performance, “I thought I could just not go, because I felt like I couldn’t. Or I could go and see what I could do — not put pressure on myself.”
Tonight, Zorya’s performing “This Disposition” for the third time, and although a few elements from that first night at the Rachel Browne Theatre remain, tonight’s performance is quite different. For the first three hours, two videos play on loop in the small Poolside Gallery on the second floor of the ArtSpace building. The first is a series of short interviews with the people who were at the after party with Zorya the night she got the phone call. In the video, she starts by explaining that these interviews are a way of documenting that night as accurately as possible.
Intercut with these conversations, Zorya records herself making the imitation ashes she’ll be using in her performance. Sitting on the floor of the home she shares with friends, she adds ingredients, comments on the texture and colour, mixes intently, and explains each step to the camera.
Crouched with my camera at Poolside, I watch people laugh as Zorya’s friend comments on how good the cheese was at the after party, cry as another friend recounts the sounds she overheard while Zorya was learning the news over the phone. A number of the audience members knew Scott well, and they console each other: sitting close, rubbing backs, holding hands.
Shortly after ten, Zorya performs. She arranges the crowd along the perimeter of a square marked with tape on the floor. The room is cramped, and her mentor, D-Anne Kuby, has to help direct people to fill in the space. Then Zorya brings out her items for performance — a stationary bike, a cream-coloured slip, and two mason jars, containing the ashes she made in the preceding video. She lays down the slip and removes the red button-up she’s been wearing, spreading it out on the floor. Then she pours the imitation human remains into the shirt. She carries the jars away, takes off her shoes, puts on the slip and lays down in the centre of the square.
She begins a series of movements on the floor, speaks to us, to Scott, has a conversation almost with herself. She moves to the stationary bike, peddling slowly at first, singing Cher’s “Believe.” Her voice grows stronger, more determined, she pedals faster, whips her hair around, singing at the top of her lungs now.
As she slows the pedals on the bike, her friend Sarah brings her an orange, and Zorya begins to walk around the square, peeling the orange, eating some chunks and offering others to audience members. The orange eaten, its peel strewn in pieces across the floor, Zorya moves back to the ashes. She puts her feet in them, moves in them, steps away and flaps out the shirt, streaming the fine powder diagonally across the square. She slides her arms back into the shirt and buttons it up, then begins moving on the floor again, this time dancing in the ashes.
Finally, she gets up, saying simply and almost with a shrug, “That’s it.”
The room has grown hot, the doors open, people mill about, eating the oranges set out at the entrance, hugging each other, laughing and chatting. I pack up my gear, pause to eat an orange, and ride my bike home, fingers still sticky with the juice of it.
A week later, I visit Zorya in her home to talk more about “This Disposition.”
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